Trick or Treat - Part Two

Monday, October 26, 2009
Last week was puzzles and word games. Today, my Halloween treat for everyone will be jokes. So, laugh it up with http://www.cavernsofblood.com/halloween-jokes/ who provided these good, clean, fun, horror jokes!

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
It had no guts...


How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend?
Ouch...


How do monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...


Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...


Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...


What do zombies like to eat at a cook out?
Halloweenies...


What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...


Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...


What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...

What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
A boo boo...


What is Dracula's favorite kind of coffee?
Decoffinated...


What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein...


What is a baby ghost's favorite game?
Peekaboo...

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"


What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're too wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...


What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...


What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...


What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...


Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...


What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...

Why did the dyslexic vampire starve to death?
He couldn't find any dloob...


Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was buttering up his teacher...


What kind of car does a ghost drive?
A Boo-ick...


Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on a coffinbreak...


Where do fasionable ghosts shop for sheets?
At bootiques...


What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn't give a hoot...


What kinds of ghosts haunt skyscrapers?
High spirits...


How do you make a witch scratch?
Just take away the W...


Where do ghosts go swimming?
The dead sea...


How did the priest make holy water?
He took some tap water and boiled the hell out of it...


What do you give a vampire with a cold?
Coffindrops...


What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?
A pumpkin patch...


Why can't skeletons play music in church?
Because they have no organs...


What did the mummy say to the detective?
Let's wrap this case up...

13 comments:

  1. Lol! What a fun way to start the week :D

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  2. 'boiled the hell out of it' thanks for making me laugh on a Monday.
    All the very best.

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  3. Oh dear! Many thanks for the laughs.

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  4. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I come back from unplug week and get to giggle all the morning. Thanks! I needed that. Hey I got my books. Thanks so much! I've already started them. :) :) :) :)

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  5. I'm glad I started someone's Monday with a smile!! See ya'all Friday.

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  6. wonderful!

    here's another:

    what do ghosts have for breakfast?

    scream of wheat! :D :D :D :D

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  7. Oooh! I like that one. Thanks, Tess.

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  8. LOL:) Just drove my daughter crazy with these! Thanks for the morning chuckle:)

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  9. LOLOLOL. ROFLOL.

    I'm tweeting this one and sharing the laughs. My daughter and I loved them just now.

    Thanks for the Halloween laughs. :)

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