Tastes Like Cookies

Parenting is sooo full of one worry after another. Beginning at pregnancy, I watched what I ate so my baby would have a healthy balance of food, watched what I did so I wouldn’t hurt her and somehow leave a permanent physical scar on her even before she was born, took all the proper prenatal vitamins so she’d get plenty of every nutritious element she needed.

Then came birthing worries. What if there were complications, the umbilical cord got wrapped around her throat, she got tangled, or suffocated, or anything?

Once she was here, the old pregnancy/birthing worries might’ve suddenly become a thing of the past, but then I worried about SIDS, or dropping her, or getting enough milk. All that good stuff.

We enrolled in the Parents as Teachers program because I worried I wouldn’t know everything I needed to teach her all she needed to know for her mental develop. I mean, who wants their kid to be behind when they start school?

As each phase passed and the worries assigned to that age faded away. But a new crop always sprang up to take their place.

These days, I wonder what’ll happen if she gets up in the middle of the nights and finds a way to unlock the door and take a midnight stroll outside with all the neighborhood coyotes.

Or what if she refuses to poop in the potty for the rest of her life? She can seriously hold it if forced to sit there, and her stubborn streak is miles loner than mine--sadly. It gives her lots of gas, so then I start worrying, GREAT, is she going to be the “stinky” kid when she starts school? I don't want her to be an outcast.

I can’t make this child eat, either. We can get her to sit at the table with us at mealtime, but we have to promise prizes, or beg, or threaten to take things away to actually make her put food in her mouth. Then we have to cajole some more to make her SWALLOW the food. It’s so aggravating and frustrating. I get this urge to wrap my hands around her neck and shake her while screaming, “I love you so much, I just want you to be healthy, damn it...so EAT,” which is all a huge contradiction, but I can't help it.

So, yeah, the kid refuses to eat cake, but oh my, does she love to pick her nose and eat her boogers.  I know, totally gross. And now I’m back to worrying she’s going to be one of THOSE kids with no friends when she gets older because she’s a freaking booger eater.

We’ve tried to help her kick this nasty habit, honest, but she’ll go off and hide under a table to pick and munch. I glanced back at her in her car seat when I was driving the other day, and she snapped her hand from her mouth with a guilty little expression. I knew exactly what she’d been up to.

“Were you eating a booger?” I demanded.

She wisely did not answer, already pleading the fifth.

So I had to figure out the appeal. I tried with the whole “Why do you do that?” and got nothing. So I asked, “What do they taste like?” I mean, if they’re better than cake in her eyes, there has to be something appealing, right? After thinking up her favorite food, I asked, “Do they taste like cookies?”

And, great, she giggled thinking this was hilarious. “Yeah,” she said. “They taste like cookies.”

The next time I caught her in the act a few days later, she once again told me they were “so good” and tasted like cookies (her memory astounds me—probably because I took those awesome prenatal vitamins with the Omega-3 DHA to support healthy fetal brain and eye development, but anyway...). Then she came up with the phrase “Cookie Boogers”, which I thought was pretty brilliant, but I didn’t tell her so. She didn't need a reason to repeat it over and over again.

And there you have it. People are being hurt and killed in college stabbings, marathon races, and fertilizer plant explosions, while I’m over here worried about my kid eating her own boogers. You don’t have to tell me, I know my priorities are all out of whack. But seriously, how do I get her to kick this habit??

Meanwhile - Over in my Writing Cave:

I’ve been swamped with editing times four. I simultaneously worked on re-reading and editing four stories these past few weeks. I’ve finished with two for the time being. Still working on two more, and I have worked on no new manuscripts in that time (ho hum).

But I have two new covers for my re-releases coming out in February.

 If anyone wants to help me reveal my cover on your blogs for the redone version of KISS IT BETTER, feel free to sign up for the Cover Reveal Party over at Tasty Book Tours. Reveal date will be Friday, May 24th. 

I’m beginning to run a little low on the book-stuff funds, so come Tuesday, I’m just going to show off my new cover here on this blog alone for the redone version of How to Resist Prince Charming (no big reveal party there, sorry).

And...That’s what’s going on with me lately. What about you?