Friday Forwards - #7

It's Friday Forwards time again (my sharing with you of funny emails I get forwarded to me).

Today, I actually have a source for my post. It comes from the website One Sentence (True Stories Told in One Sentence).

And remember : if you have some great jokes you receive on your emails, please feel free to forward them to me at Linda(at)Linda Kage(dot)com. I'll make sure they get posted (but they have to be clean--public forum here, remember!!).

True Stories Told In One Sentence

When I was 5 or so my mom would tell me to lie down before she tied my tie and I just now realized at the age of 19 that she did this because she's a funeral director.


My 8-year-old sister proudly declared that she knows that "WTF" means "Wow, That's Funny" and has been using it all over the internet.


The worst thing about secret girlfriends is that when they get hit by cars you're not supposed to cry.


It was the perfect revenge, until I came home and the cops were already waiting for me.


As I woke up from my nap to find written on my feet "This is my momma and you can't have her," I realized that my child is very, very strange.


My online dating service matched me with my cousin.


My friend Bob loved his vinyl records so much that he used to obsess about which ones to save if his house caught fire but when it actually happened he chose his girlfriend instead.


Arriving home after sitting in traffic for two hours, I said to myself, "Oh, wait, I don't live here anymore."


I know 18 digits of pi and can recite the quadratic equation, but I still need to make an L with my hand to find out where left is.


It was one of those exams that you absolutely must pass if you want to continue in the program, and I failed the set-your-alarm-clock-properly portion.


His efforts were so valiant, I didn't have the heart to tell him it was front clasp.


Three years into my English major, I finally ran out of BS.


I married my husband on our first date, but it has taken me more than 5 years to decide what colour to paint our dining room.


I was nearly sent to the hospital because I could not convince the school nurse that my head had always been this shape.