Friday Forwards - #8

Friday, May 14, 2010
It's Friday Forwards time again (my sharing with you of funny emails I get forwarded to me). If anyone ever finds out where these forwards originate, let me know so I can credit the source. Also, if you have some great jokes you receive on your emails, please feel free to forward them to me at Linda(at)Linda Kage(dot)com and I'll make sure they get posted (but they have to be clean--public forum here, remember!!).

The Mean Side of Marriage


At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am. I married the wrong man."
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A lady inserted an ad in the classifies: HUSBAND WANTED. The next day, she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : You can have mine!
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A young son asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
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Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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First guy says, "My wife's an angel." Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
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A woman's prayer : Dear Lord, I pray for the wisdom to understand a man, to love and to forgive him, and for the patience to withstand his mood. Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll just beat him to death!
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One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room he called, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," the wife called back. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled, "University of Oklahoma."
***
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack said as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would say if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
***
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
***
Man : "I'm going to make you the happiest woman ever."
Woman : "I'll miss you."

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