Friday Forwards - # 3

It's Friday Forwards time again (my sharing with you of funny emails I get forwarded to me). Now, I usually say "If anyone ever finds out where these forwards originate, let me know so I can credit the source," but I swear I heard some of these on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, recited by Bill Engvall.

Also, if you have some great jokes you receive on your emails, please feel free to forward them to me at Linda(at)Linda Kage(dot)com and I'll make sure they get posted (but they have to be clean--public forum here, remember!!).

The Ultimate Smart-Aleck Answers

It was mealtime during a flight.

"Would you like dinner?" the attendant asked John.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or no," she answered.

***

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family, so she asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

***

A cop got out of his car, and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

"Son," the cop said. "I've been waiting for you all day."

"Yeah?" the kid answered. "Well I got here as fast as I could."

***

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket. Instead of handing one over, he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

"Sir," she responded. "I need to see your ticket not your stub."

***

A truck driver was driving along the freeway when he saw a Low Bridge Ahead sign. Before he knew it, there was the bridge and he got stuck under it. Cars backed up for miles. Finally a police car pulled up.

The cop got out of his car and walked to the driver. "Got stuck, huh?" he said.

"No," the truck driver answered. "I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."