Why These Writers were Fired from Hallmark
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...did you ever find out who the father was?
I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here.
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.
How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?
Congratulations on you wedding day. Too bad no one likes your husband.
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.